How to let go

Sometimes when you are sorting through your belongings and papers you come across things that have an obvious solution: a broken lampshade that is past its useful life and should be tossed, the first communion dress that is kept as a memento and the pair of jeans that no longer fit but can be used by someone else. These decisions feel like no brainers, questions with easy and direct answers.

What happens when you encounter an item you need to think twice about? People hold onto things for many reasons. The item may be valuable, it might have emotional meaning, it could be useful in some way or you feel compelled to keep it because it might come in handy down the road. Occasionally you may find a gift that has remained in hiding because it never really found its place in your home.

To avoid being overwhelmed in clutter by putting off decisions, do not overlook these more difficult situations and work to determine if something is important enough to keep. When you are faced with this scenario, ask yourself the following questions:

Do I love it?

Do I really need it? Can something else do the same job?

Do I have to keep this in the unlikely event I use it, or can I simply purchase it later if I am in need of it?

Is it worth making room for and do I want to spend the time to create a permanent home for it so I can find it again?

Can someone else make better use of this?

Is it part of the solution or part of the problem?

11 ways to not prioritize

I have been reading ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau. While the strategies and and examples in the book deal with the difficulties of ADD, I find much of the book can be helpful for anyone. Judith and Kathleen wrote a short section on the challenges of prioritizing and I wanted to share them. You can find this section on page 70 and 71 of their book: It is only when we take stock that we can prioritize, asking ourselves, "Is this really necessary?" "If I'm going to take this on, what am I going to give up?" "Am I really living life according to my deepest values, or just reacting to whatever pops up?" Prioritizing is difficult for everyone, especially in the fast-paced life that so many adults live today, bombarded with choices and burdened with high-pressure jobs in addition to the responsibilities of home and family. When ADD is added to the mix, prioritizing often goes out the window in favor of rapid reaction - reacting to demands as they hit you, without deciding whether they are your top priority. Rarely in a jam-packed day, does an adult with ADD take time to realistically assess what can be accomplished and then prioritize, asking, "If I can only accomplish three tasks on my list, which three should I choose?" Often, top-priority items may be the least likely to be chosen, while many less important things are placed first. Instead of prioritizing "first things first," many people make choices according to other rules: Whatever is on top- Paper shuffling Whatever is the easiest- Easy does it Knock-knock- Responding to whomever asks me first False Progress- The more I can check off my list the more productive I feel Proximity- Might as well do it while I'm passing by You decide- I don't want the responsibility Conflict avoidance- If you yell loudly about something, it'll go to the top of my list Whatever I'm in the mood for- I'll do it if I feel like it Save the worst for last- Anything but that! Go with the flow- Doing whatever the others do Habit- Just doing the usual All of these ways of "prioritizing" are not really prioritizing at all. In fact, they are ways to avoid prioritizing, letting habit, circumstance or the priorities of others determine how you spend your time. Adults with ADD who "prioritize" according to these rules often find they've never met many of their life's goals.